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Just in case you were wondering

14/07/2021 by Webmaster

Just in case you were wondering what I do all day, here is how I spent an hour and a bit this morning...

It’s fun to charter an accountant,
And sail the wide accountancy.
To find, explore the funds offshore,
And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.

(Monty Python - The Meaning of Life)

After 3 days of trying and getting cut off - if I got through at all -

I tried again (ignoring HMRC's request to agents to spread their calls

throughout the day, rather than contact them first thing in the morning

when we tend to actually get through) and I managed to get a link for a webchat.

It went as well as could be expected in all of the circumstances...

 

Charlie: 8:35AM

Agent registering PAYE for clients - [DATES REDACTED] - no references back yet

HMRC: 8:35AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

HMRC: 8:37AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

HMRC: 8:38AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

HMRC: 8:40AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

HMRC: 8:41AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

HMRC: 8:43AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are I in the queue.

HMRC: 8:44AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

HMRC: 8:46AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

HMRC: 8:47AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

HMRC: 8:48AM

An adviser will be available soon

HMRC: 8:49AM

An adviser will be available soon

HMRC: 8:49AM

An adviser will be available soon

Claire: 8:50AM

Welcome to HMRC Webchat. You're speaking with Claire.

Claire: 8:50AM

Good Morning. My apologies if you have had a long wait to speak to with us today

Charlie: 8:50AM

Good morning Claire. I have registered two clients through agent services "register a client for new taxes" [DATES REDACTED] but haven't had PAYE references back yet

Charlie: 8:50AM

Can you give me PAYE references for them?

Claire: 8:51AM

Do you have the case ID or acknowledgement reference from the confirmation email, please?

Charlie: 8:51 AM

No. That system gives a confirmation page but no reference and no email

Claire: 8:55AM

If you didn't get a reference then we haven't received an application for a PAYE scheme

Charlie: 8:55AM

The system for agents to use - the agent services dashboard - doesn't give references

Charlie: 8:56AM

It sends you a structed email. We fill in the screen, print the "check details" page, hit the submit button and then print the confirmation page

Charlie: 8:57AM

The last time this happened (about a month ago) I phoned the helpline who searched for the application but didn't find it and we did it again in the phone

Claire: 8:57AM

There must be a confirmation ID number. We would need that to trace the application. It might be 8 digits long

Charlie: 8:58AM

No, that's the point. Its your system...

Claire: 9:00AM

We have 2 systems for setting up PAYE schemes, both of which give you application references to allow us to trace the application for whatever reason. If you're not given a reference number at the time of application then it would suggest to me that it hasn't been applied for and we have no way to trace it.

Claire: 9:00AM

If you give me the employers details I'll set them up just now for you

Charlie: 9:00AM

So can we do it now?

Claire: 9:01AM

If you give me the employers details I'll set them up just now for you

Charlie: 9:01AM

Thank you.

Charlie: 9:01AM

Name: [REDACTED] Company number: {REDACTED] UTR: [REDACTED] Registered office: [REDACTED] Trading address: [REDACTED] Director: [REDACTED] Details submitted on [REDACTED]

Charlie: 9:02AM

Sorry about the formatting!

You were disconnected. Please wait while we attempt to

reconnect you.

Sorry for the delay. An adviser should be with you soon.

HMRC: 9:07AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 5 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:08AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 5 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:10AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 4 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:11AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 4 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:13AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 4 in the queue.

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 4 in the queue.

HMRc: 9:16AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 4 in the queue.

HMRc: 9:17AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

HMRc: 9:19AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

HMRc: 9:20AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

HMRc: 9:22AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

HMRc: 9:23AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 2 in the queue.

HMRc: 9:25AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 2 in the queue.

HMRc: 9:26AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 2 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:28AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are I in the queue.

You're now talking to Colin

Colin: 9:28AM

Good morning, how can I help?

Charlie: 9:28AM

Colin, good morning. Can you read what I said before I was disconnected?

You were disconnected. Please wait while we attempt to

reconnect you.

Sorry for the delay. An adviser should be with you soon.

HMRC: 9:32AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:34AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:35AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:37AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:38AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 2 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:40AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 2 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:41AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 2 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:43AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 2 in the queue.

HMRC: 9:44AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are I in the queue.

HMRc: 9:46AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 1 in the queue.

You're now talking to Colin

Charlie: 9:46AM

Good morning, Colin

Charlie: 9:47AM

As an agent, how should I apply for a PAYE reference for a client?

I log in to agent services and follow the link to "register a client for new taxes". Is that not the right way to do it?

Charlie: 9:47AM

It is just that doing it that way doesn't seem to be working...

Charlie: 9:47AM

You were disconnected. Please wait while we attempt to reconnect you.

Sorry for the delay. An adviser should be with you soon.

HMRC: 9:48AM

Thank you for your patience, the next available adviser will be with you shortly. You are 3 in the queue.

 ...

THEN I WAS BUMPED OUT ENTIRELY AND ASKED TO COMPLETE A SURVEY. 

YES, HMRC WANTED MY OPINION ON THEIR LEVEL OF SERVICE…

I answered, of course, 'though getting accused of lying didn't

help my demeanour.  Never mind, we have the sunlit uplands

to look forward to.  So we must brace ourselves, and bear ourselves and battle on...

“...  if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States,

including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the

abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more

protracted, by the lights of perverted science. Let us therefore brace

ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if the British

Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will

still say, ‘This was their finest hour.’” (Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill)

 

Postscript: There was a happy ending, by the way.  The next day I got through to the PAYE helpline in about 10 minutes and over the following 20 minutes we got these two clients' PAYE scheme set up and all the necessary references issued. And although the announcement said they were having technical difficulties, I didn't notice and I wasn't cut off at all.

So all in all I spent about 2 hours doing this.  How much can I ask the clients to pay?

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